Carly DW Bones
Intimacy Director / Coordinator
I come to the exciting new field of intimacy choreography with years of experience in both theatre direction and sex education. I have extensive practice guiding actors through sexually charged material, with a particular consideration for holding brave spaces in which to safely make uncomfortable art. I believe that excellent storytelling does not have to be sacrificed in order to bring consent culture into an artistic space. Rather, the specificity and mindfulness that intimacy directors can provide allows actors to make informed decisions and claim their boundaries, so they can truly be free to explore and take risks. Telling stories that include sexuality requires artists’ vulnerability and growth — it never needs to come at the cost of anyone’s dignity, integrity, mental health or sense of belonging.
From my sex education background, I confidently navigate discussions around consent and communication, translating them to serve the context of artistic collaboration. I am passionate about advocating for actors to have more agency over their physical safety and mental health throughout the rehearsal process and into performance. I come to intimacy direction from a trauma-informed and trauma-resilient lens, and use somatic tools for re-centering and grounding at the end of the work, or as needed throughout the process.
I worked with actors and directors to choreograph scenes of simulated sex, simulated sexual violence, kissing, undressing, and many kinds of physical intimacy for theatre companies and university theatre departments in the Los Angeles area — as well as for productions I have directed myself.
I co-host a new podcast called Intimacy Choreography in Conversation with the brilliant Ann James of Intimacy Coordinators of Color where we discuss bringing a culture of consent to performing arts spaces. This is a free and accessible resource for folks anywhere to learn more about the intimacy field. Check us out anywhere you listen to podcasts.
I am currently in the process of creating my own trauma-resilient intimacy pedagogy, inspired by principles of transformative justice, abolition, empathy and inclusion.
“Carly is a generous and thoughtful Intimacy Director with a strong understanding of how to communicate the importance of this work clearly and accessibly to actors. She was patient and collaborative, ensuring that her work served the broader goals and intentions of our production, while also offering her own unique insight.”
