thespomancer

Carly DW Bones

theatre director . intimacy coordinator
sex educator . community facilitator

thespomancer : /thes·po·man·sər/ (noun)

theatre witch; one who uses magic to bring plays to life

Artist Statement: My passion and experience intersect at the meetings of theatre, community, ritual, sexuality, gender, mental health and trauma-sensitivity. I believe that in art, in theatre, we can use both the process and the product to create new paradigms through which both artists and audience can find belonging and be activated for change.

Carly is a theatre director, intimacy director/coordinator, sex educator, community facilitator, mental health advocate, and theatre witch. They created and directed at the feminist theatre ensemble, The Illyrian Players, from 2011-2019. She has also directed at: Coin & Ghost, The Echo, EST LA, Indie Shakes, Inkwell Theater, Hollywood Fringe Festival, Kayenta Center for the Arts, The Road, Rogue Artists Ensemble, Sorority, The Vagrancy and more.

Carly is a freelance intimacy director and educator in the Los Angeles area for professional theatre companies (A Noise Within, Antaeus, Boston Court, Coeurage, Coin & Ghost, East West Players, EST LA, Ghost Road, Greenway Court, Hero Theatre, IAMA, Moving Arts, The Road, Skylight, Son of Semele, South Coast Rep, StarKid, Theatre 40) and for university theatre programs (Cal Lutheran University, CSULA, CSULB, Emerson LA, Occidental College, UCLA, UCR, USC, Pomona College), and for indie film (Double Date, Hypochondriac, Omi, Serpentine Pink, Next of Kin, My Life Stopped at 15).


Check out my worksheets page for some free resources for actors and other theatre artists looking to get clear on boundaries and fostering a culture of consent.

Theatre Director

As a director, I gravitate toward stories that shed light on our collective cultural wounds around sexuality (whether reclaiming these themes through a feminist lens within classical works, or digging deep into modern masterpieces and brand new stories). I am drawn to stories with charged subject matter, and lead their exploration by making the entire process a brave space in which artists can safely create uncomfortable work. Art is meant to challenge us, to push us toward vulnerability and growth — and that never needs to come at the cost of anyone’s dignity, integrity, mental health or sense of belonging.

Intimacy Coordinator

I come to the exciting new field of intimacy choreography with years of experience in both theatre direction and sex education. I have extensive practice guiding actors through sexually charged material, with a particular consideration for holding brave spaces in which to safely make uncomfortable art. I believe that excellent storytelling does not have to be sacrificed in order to bring consent culture into an artistic space. Rather, the specificity and mindfulness that intimacy directors can provide allows actors to make informed decisions and claim their boundaries, so they can truly be free to explore and take risks. Telling stories that include sexuality requires artists’ vulnerability and growth — it never needs to come at the cost of anyone’s dignity, integrity, mental health or sense of belonging.

Sex Educator

I believe that inclusive, consent-based, pleasure-oriented sex education is something that everyone should have access to. I strive to create approachable teaching spaces where we can re-consider sex with both a sense of respect and a sense of fun and humor. My pedagogy is based on the idea that mindfully learning about sexuality is a powerful way to reclaim sex on your own terms, to feel safer in your explorations, and to add more joy and sensuality into living your life. As an educator, I frame sexuality as a form of creativity and expression through which we can experience more pleasure and intimacy. I am continually working to actively bring empathy, inclusion and anti-racism into my practice as a sex educator.


Community Facilitator

The core of my practice is creating and facilitating brave spaces where communities can explore incidents and topics that include discomfort, conflict or harm. I aim to hold spaces that allow for a deeper level of vulnerability, honest communication, and both personal and community growth. I am dedicated to creating a space where everyone involved belongs and feels empowered to share —without compromising the wellbeing and safety of the folks who are most vulnerable within the group. I work with the group to minimize the possibility and extent of harm, and to allow for folks in the community to be brave and reach toward growth. I specialize working with artistic communities and with young adults.